If you're planning an ultra around a family, you'll budget the hours. You'll probably get that part right. I mostly did.

What I didn't budget for was the couch.

It happened more than once. It's nice outside, and I'm on the couch. My son comes in and asks me to go out with him. He wants to run routes, or work on his pitching. I tell him I'm way too tired for that. Then I watch the disappointment land on his face.

I was there for everything this year. I just wasn't always all there.

From May through race week, Strava logged about 110 hours of running and 856 miles over 20 weeks. Race day added another 6:29:20.

Most of that time came out of weekday mornings, on purpose, to keep it away from the hours my family cares about. Long runs went on Fridays instead of Saturdays, because Saturday is when the kids are actually home. Saturdays got an easy 6 or 7 mile recovery run and nothing more.

Fridays still had a cost. I started the workday late to make room, and in the back half of the build that meant heading out around 7am, right when the kids get ready for camp or school. Liz handled it without me, and the kids saw less of me before they left. It was the smaller sacrifice, and I made it knowingly. Even the family vacation got a run every morning.

Outside of race weekend, I didn't miss anything.

The money is easy to count too:

Back in May I wrote that running during my kids' practices wasn't taking anything from them. That was true about the time. The time was never the whole bill.

Strava counts the run. It doesn't count the rest of the day.

The miles came out of the mornings. The recovery came out of everything after. I was home, I was tired, and the kids noticed. When they asked to go out and play, sometimes I got up and went anyway. Sometimes I just couldn't.

Friday nights had their own version. Liz would take the kids to a friend's house, where a lot of our friends and their families would be hanging out. I'd stay home with our youngest so I could get him to bed. That was the official reason. The real one was that I wanted to get to bed. Other nights I passed on going out because I was too tired, or because I had a run the next morning.

In July I wrote about getting cranky when a baseball to the toe kept me off the road. This was the other side of that. The running was going fine. There was just less of me left over for everyone else.

Liz was the steady one. Every Friday I was out on a long run, she got the kids ready and out the door, to camp in the summer and school in the fall. Most other mornings she put up with me waking her up early.

Then came race weekend. I was in Virginia for four days, and she had all three kids on her own.

None of that shows up in my training log either.

It wasn't all subtraction.

In June, Thomas started tagging along on easy runs. Nothing long, a couple of miles at his pace, which is a different kind of easy run than the ones I do with my neighbor at 5am. Then on June 27 we both lined up for the Lake Erie Liberty 5k. It was his second 5k ever. No pacer this time, and it was hot. He ran 25:13, an 8:08 pace, and finished second in his age group.

I finished my own race, then caught up with him for the last half mile. In the last couple hundred meters, a group of runners was closing on him. He picked it up hard so they couldn't get by. Afterward he told me he really likes running.

The log has a few other entries that aren't really training. Afternoon bike rides with the kids. A walk with the whole family the Monday after a long run.

Whether they realize it today or not, the kids watched me do something hard and work through it. Not a speech about discipline. Just the shoes by the door, the Friday mornings, and the trip to Virginia. I think it's good for kids to see their parents do things like that.

Yes. I tried to keep the cost on me and out of the hours my family cares about, and the structure did its job.

If I did it again, I'd keep that structure: weekday mornings, long runs on Friday, Saturdays left to the family. What I'd change is what happens after the run.

First, I'd push through the tired and get off the couch. Being in the house isn't the same as being with them.

Second, I'd take more off Liz's plate on the days I'm home. Look ahead at the week. Lay out clothes, get lunches ready, and pack bags the night before. It would still be a burden on her. It would at least be more tolerable, and she wouldn't feel like it all landed on her.

There's a 50 miler I've been looking at for next year. A longer race means longer Fridays.

Liz and I haven't talked about it yet. That's a January conversation, when I plan the new year. The hours are the part I already know how to plan. This time I'd like a better answer for the couch.